I hope my caregiver takes today off…..

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No need to roll up the sleeves

Seriously, if you are naked stay away from my meds. -UA

Sonia Day yourhome.ca

Woohoo! Dig those bare buttocks and boobs. May 14 is, believe it or not, World Naked Gardening Day.

According to the American Association for Nude Recreation, May 14 is the day when we should all get outside and tend our gardens, flower boxes and yards clothed “as nature intended.”

“Nude gardening is comfortable, saves on laundry, and makes for a quick personal clean up — just hose down,” these folks say.

True.

They also claim that “besides being liberating, nude gardening is second only to swimming as an activity that people are most ready to consider doing nude.”

True again.

I’ve actually weeded in the buff myself. (Relax folks. I live out in the boonies. No neighbours around to scare). But burr what’s with the weird timing? Up here in Canada, this day of celebration would probably result in very chilly extremities, and I’m not just talking frozen fingers. Couldn’t you organize the bash at a sensible time of year, like July?

In fact, I couldn’t help noticing the palm trees in the photo this organization sent me. The model clearly lives in Florida, where legions of uninhibited ladies and gents are probably outside at this very moment, fussing over their flowers under the warmth of sunshine.

But not here, alas. However, in the spirit of World Naked Gardening Day, my buddy Jessica gamely agreed to pose au naturel with a strategically-placed potted fern. Let’s hope her selfless act — performed one recent chilly morning — persuades the long-overdue summer to warm up our sunstarved bodies.

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Desperately seeking heirlooms

Forget getting naked. It’s time to get serious about our tomato plants — because now (probably) we can expose their tender little bodies to the great outdoors. Just make sure all danger of frost is past before you plant them.

Where to find heirlooms? I keep getting emails from readers who complain that these kinds of tomatoes are in short supply (or non-existent) at big garden centres. And it’s often true. The trick is to seek out smaller, owner-operated nurseries, which often start seeds themselves. However, if you lust after heirlooms (and they do taste fantastic) remember that in humid, wet summers they are prone to a horrid affliction called late blight. It turns tomatoes black, brown and yucky just as they’re ripening — a discovery can break your heart. Grow them by all means, but plant a modern hybrid too, because they’re less susceptible to blight.

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